BECAUSE....

In life I fuck things up. I don't plan it but yet it occurs to many times.
I tell myself maybe it's meant to be that way becos' I'm not meant to
be happy or meant to be good at anything. I wonder what's my purpose
in life? I know that what I'm doing right now isn't my purpose. I put
in my mind that THIS IS THE LAST TIME but it never does get in my head,
like it's just some silly thought when it really isn't. I have so many
plans for myself and I know that what I'm doing isn't one of them. I hear
from so many people that "I'm better than that" or "I have so much potential I just need to put my talents into use" things like that. Maybe I just need a push,
something or someone to help me achieve what I want to. I'm just so use to doing
things on my own because my parents we're always to busy doing this and that
to notice. IDK! but one things for sure, I know now to listen to that voice
in my head that's telling me to do what's right. I need to refocus and
keep repeating to myself the goals I have in life. NO MORE SCREW UPS!!!

memories

121605, sophmore year, senior year, 2008, senioritis my junior year, saving my house from burning, prank calling at 2 in tha' morning, 18th birthday hotel party, purple & yellow theme, hawaii prince hotel, waipahu homecoming games, sleepovers at my house, 2nd homes, bestfriends, losing bestfriends, tantlus, hawaiian brian nights, drinking at jojo's, talking til' 6 in tha' morning, graduation, getting caught by tha' cops, charleys, pearlridge chillin', zippy's, walmart late nights, hotel parties, court, summer 2008, karaoke lounge, punching holes in walls, hookah sessions, miki's, aivacryshajama, 8wheels, TGK, one year anniversaries, 2-in-1 151 shots, chillin' late nights, seeing old friends, meeting new friends, Boyz 2 Men Concert, movie nights, giving advice on aim & in text, being tha' best friend I can be, match maker, jerkin' in front of matt's house, chillin' on matt's couch, joggin' tha' stadium, myspace arguements, planning about our move to California, vacations about vegas, breakups, heartaches, ABDC at my house, ewa beach, chocolate park, smoke breaks, sneaking people out, && friends that never left.

[...I'M HAPPIEST WHEN I'M QUIET...]

IF YOU DON'T KNOW  NOW YOU KNOW.

............IT'S ALL ABOUT THA' WHO'S WHO & WHO DID WHAT. I'M NOT ABOUT THAT!

lately,

i haven't cared about anyone & anything. I'm so tired of trying to please everyone. Everything's just so annoying right now. i dont need to please people & i don't need to prove my self to anyone. i can't stand it, UGHH!! i'm done with all tha' bullshit && drama. i hate it when i have to choose, it's driving me crazy to tha' point where i just want to scream STFU to tha' world. I'm so torn between everything, i'm going downhill because of it. I'm failing 3 out of my 4 classes & i've been doing things that i don't usually do.

feb28th, 2009

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO ME! :] today not only mark's my nineteen years living but it also marks our one year anniversary! Overall, today was one of the best days of my life. In tha' afternoon Crystel, Kat & I went to liquid metals to get piercings. Too bad we couldn't record. Crystel & I did our noses & kat did her naval. Even though we waited for about three hours in line it was well worth it. Thanks to everyone who came to my party, & no thanks to those who didn't. It just shows who'll do just about anything to come :] I had a lot of fun either way. I met new friends once again & it's such a great feeling. This day couldn't have gotten any better. Everyone was just having fun, no dramas for once & everyone enjoyed tha' night. I talked stories with just about everyone :] & caught up on some news. Lol

Nights like these are going to happen more often :]



....................here's to great friends :]